Someone asked me this question yesterday, and it had me stop and reflect on the resistance I was still holding on to with the parenting role.
Fear of shame
Fear of guilt
Fear of past failures
Fear of pain
Fear of full acceptance
Fear of kindness towards myself
The fear uses the parenting role as a way to push me into thinking I need to hide the things I have considered unacceptable in myself.
When I sat and reflected on this fear, my heart opened up, showing me the resilience I have gained from all of those things I fear to reveal.
I recognized that suffering is a gift to share with others to appreciate what they have, which is life. There is so much abundance that surrounds you, which starts within you.

Past experiences have an emotional charge, and this energy becomes stuck in the body, creating looping thoughts of attack and defend.
From what I experienced in self-healing, trauma is an emotional charge you're afraid to go into to discharge. The root is fear sparking avoidance and denial towards acceptance of simply seeing outside of the identity that was created for protection.
When the mind is open you clearly see that everything can be used in such loving-kind ways. You can see the identity you have placed around the experiences and sensations of the experience, which becomes suppressed energy blocking you from Truth.
Meditation allows you to go into the nervous system to do that discharge and see from the inside out.

What is it that you truly want in your heart?
Asking this question keeps you accountable towards yourself.
We can get caught up living our lives for others' dreams or aspirations; meanwhile, we have done nothing for ourselves.
Take a moment to sit in silence and ponder this question.
As simple as it may seem, the challenging part is with the answer, just be it and apply in everyday interactions.
Kind honesty discharges the emotional charge so you can start from here now and not in the illusion of then there.
Follow the answers your heart gives.